mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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