I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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