dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
