Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize