hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize