another moral hangover. fuck.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
