I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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