Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I think I died a long time ago.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
nutella sex= disaster
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
