I just made out with a guy for $7.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
it's like iHOP with fire
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize