I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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