some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
