I'm really into asian looking animals
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
