i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Screwed.edu
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Shame - the story of my life.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
