About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
