I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize