Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
