There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
