So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
