The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
