Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
where are you?
Hypothermia
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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