it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize