Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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