hotel room ftw
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
