If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
