ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
