Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
