I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Green mimosas i think yes
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
