my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
