I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
