So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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