Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I am full of burrito and curiosity
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize