therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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