yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
