the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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