Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
