There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
