It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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