I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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