I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
