just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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