wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
