she woke up with a sticky ear
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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