i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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