Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
