Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize