i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
