Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
