Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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