When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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