***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
