I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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