Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
