Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
