I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
