And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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