she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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