Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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