remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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