So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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