For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
