I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
