i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize