That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
When are your genitals available?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
